"A Jealous Heart"
Dealing with Jealousy has been very familiar to me in the past years. Once I noticed it inside of me I begin to question where did it come from. In the midst of me searching for that answer. I went through major suffering. I suffered within myself because I didn't want to be this way because I knew it was wrong, but I had no control over it. So I begin doing my research about what it is, where did it come from, and how to overcome it. As well as where did it particularly come from in my personal life. So I became aware of my own self you can say. That's when I begin to see that other's suffer with Jealousy as well. What really hurts me is that people are secretly hurting. Some people feel ashamed of their reality so they just rather not deal with it. But if you don't deal with it, it will begin to hinder your growth. But I'm hoping that you will be aware of things that are within you that is not healthy and want change from what ever that thing is. Here is what I want to share with you. A couple of years ago was when I noticed that I dealt with jealousy. I believed it came from the relationships I use to be in. Most of the relationships I was in I was cheated on and some I was verbally, and emotionally abused. So as I was thinking of the reasons why I was jealous I also thought about my relationship with my father. My father was unable to give me intimacy because he was abandoned. So now I was abandoned emotionally from my father if that makes since. Don't get me wrong my father is awesome and now we have a good relationship. He has always been in my life. But as I got older I begin realizing things about myself that wasn't functional or normal. I don't blame anyone for the lack they gave me and I don't discredit the good they did do. But going through my process of purging and healing. It doesn't stop how it affects me if I never dealt with it. And if I'm going to do this EVERYTHING has to be examined. So I didn't realize this until like 2 years after I gave my life to Christ. So on top of that I didn't really know my purpose so I wasn't secure in who I was. So through all the years this is what was being built inside of me from the disloyalty, broken trust, betrayal, and the lack there of. Insecurity, jealousy, low self esteem, and dysfunctional personalities started to identify me. Jealousy is operating in your life if you are unable to to give others honor. And not just saying with your mouth but your heart is pure while doing it. If you give others honor but still are uneasy about it jealousy is operating in your life. When someone else receives recognition or honor and you are thinking about yourself and comparing what you did, or you just have to say what you accomplished. You immediately move into judgement, comparison, and lack of appreciation for another person. Or comparing yourself with others to bring division. What happens with envy and jealousy is that when we do not rejoice with those who rejoice we become critical, judgmental and eventually secretly hating that person in hearts. All because they were blessed. I mentioned that this comes from Fear. Fear of something and I can honestly say I had a lot of fears when it came to everything. But let me tell you how deep this is. Fear opens the door to a judgmental and critical spirit. Once that is locked into your heart/ your mind. The door is opened to suspicion and imagination. You begin to watchfully guard your life thinking everybody is against you which brings separation, division, distrust, and tension. Now you are in the progression to jealous rage. That leads to bitterness which means now that unforgiveness is operating, which can hardened your heart. Now that unforgiveness is operatingyou will begin to try to manipulate situations and people which opens the door to witchraft and occult spirits. At this point you have become one with jealousy and the spirit of death has legal ground in your life We Can not resist this spirit we have to be delivered according to Luke 4:18 that says " The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of the sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised," My Prayer for you
God We thank you right now for who you are. We acknowledge that we are broken people but it was your son that made it possible for us to be free from Sin. So Lord We pray that you will search us God in every dark place and shine your light on that area. We're asking God that you expose anything that's not like you. Search us God and test us in all areas. The things that we don't want to acknowledge that are embarrassing Lord grace us to acknowledge it so we can prepare to change it. Deliver us and feel every empty place with your word so we can stay delivered. Most of all God let us delight in you and in your ways. In Jesus Name Amen.
If you Are dealing with this Please feel free to Reach out to Me. God delivered me from it and I know he can do the same for you! You have a purpose and you are predestined for Greatness. Don't allow the enemy to control any area of your life. But we can go through the process together. It's not a overnight process but You can reach the end goal. And I will go through every step with you if you allow me to.